Å leve fra Ånden...

So the famous first year is over, the year most people kind of expect to be difficult or at least different. You´ve gone through his first birthday without him, the first holiday, the first Father´s Day and the first Christmas. You´ve gone through all the seasons, shifting from winter to spring, not seeing him get out shoveling snow or plant something in the backyard. It´s shifted to summer without him BBQing and the first Christmas night came and went without him reading the Christmas gospel. The first year is expected to be hard - everywhere - in other cultures wives would dress in black or wear something black on their arm (sørgebånd) the entire year, but then what? What happens after that? Does it mean that things turn back to normal and stop hurting? Well, talking to my friend that lost his Mom 18 years ago this February, he says: "It never becomes easier! It just doesn´t!" That sounds horrible. Unbearable. If it will stay like this. Or maybe, as others have told m...

Jeg har tenkt en god stund at jeg skulle skrive noe om Manila, Filippinene.... kanskje litt om mine opplevelser av slummen der i 2000, kanskje litt om "Rejoice" barnehjem som det var min mor som først involverte seg i, og en del om familieoutreachen (en misjonsreise for en familie) som Magnar, Christina og barna enda er på (snart tre uker bortreist, kommer hjem mandag!) Det er noe med det Ingar og Bjørg har gjort; å reise fra alt hjemme i Norge når du er midt i 50-åra  og starte et barnehjem blant de fattigste i Manilla, som rører meg sterkt. Men så leser jeg i dag noe Christina skriver om opplevelsene sine der, som er bedre enn mine refleksjoner herfra ville blitt, derfor ville jeg bare gi dere anledning til å lese det også. Manila, 22.februar 2014 Et arbeid som betyr en forskjell Vi er en familie på 5 som i har fått den store gleden av å være i Manila i to uker på besøk hos Bjørg og Ingar for å se og hjelpe litt til med arbeidet dere...

Living the way I have done the last half year - in a Norway ready to go into winter, then suddenly in sunny Hawaii for three months, traveling back to Norway, turning the day, only to stay for 11 days before traveling 11 timezones again, makes me realize how much the little things count. And - how huge little things really are in our lives. Coming to Hawaii the first time, after the "honeymoon" period, I felt an insecurity I hadn´t felt in a long time. Suddenly I was suppose to live in a different country, with a different language, deal with a completely different system, new people... and not having all the security around me of the regular people and routines... I noticed how insecure I´d feel coming into a room full of people, but not knowing anyone, no one coming up and no one to talk to. How I was used to going to these places and having several people I won´t be best friends with, but at least say hi to and chat about nothing for two minutes. I didn´t realize how muc...

I said it before - but I love America!! I think I mentioned a list in another blogpost, there are just so many awesome things about the country and the people, but one of the things I looove the most are the way people behave when they meet. Open. Friendly. Not afraid of talking to strangers. I love going for a run and actually saying hi to lots of people passing me. Or men on scooters at times even nodding at you walking past them. I love how cars so easily let other cars in in front of them in line, and literally stops traffic to wave at little me on a scooter to let me come through - even though it is very little efficient and creating a long line behind them (and the system of STOP in every crossroad is slowing the traffic so much!) I love getting compliments on Starbucks by a complete stranger ("I just love your clothes! You look so cute!") and feeling free to give compliments the same way, experiencing the gass station worker going out of his way to help me fill gass...

Kjære mor! Du er noe utenom det vanlige. Du er sterk  og god og trofast. Du har lært meg så mye om livet. I dag er det trist å ikke være hjemme og gi gaver og feire morsdagen sammen med deg! Jeg ønsker deg alt godt - glede og sang og dans, og ber om at du skal kunne le mot kommende dager! Klem fra Renate  

It looks like this will be my second sequel in Kona. I wonder of how many. I still can not believe that I am back in this place already! Actually for those who thought I'd be going home to stay through another Norwegian winter, so did I. But towards the end of my stay I was beginning to be anxious about leaving, feeling like I wasn't finished with this place. Then not one or two, but three people had been praying for me and said at different times that they felt I was to stay longer or go back shortly after!! This totally astonished me since I was set in my mind to go back home, but as I opened the door to return, things started falling into place very quickly. Ina, my study friend was overwhelmingly excited about coming with me (as I didn't want to travel alone), we could stay at my sister's place since she was going to the Philippines and then another friend, Kari, said we could stay with them afterwards, we found really cheap tickets, it worked out with the exam d...

I don't know what I was thinking leaving Hawaii for Norway in January with a thin jacket and high heeled walking shoes, but now I am having a serious culture shock!! It was beyond freezing coming home. The wind going crazy and the darkness outside all the time. Being without cellphone (lost my sim-card), Internet and car (wouldn't start) for almost three days I lay mostly on the couch gazing outside at the grey or black sky, seeing the trees and bushes bending straight in the wind and wondering how in the world I ended up in this place!! This is the first day I dared to step out of the house, for a quick walk from the M44 Mall to Expert with Astri close by my side. I don't think I'll try that again for a few months... Is it possible to forget so quickly? Have I been so long in the sun that I forgot how cold and grey a Norwegian winter can be?! The other shock is the prices!! So far today the lunch Astri was so kind to buy me + groceries + a few other m...

I´ve been a pedicure virgin for the longest time - actually until yesterday!! Coming from Norway we don´t really care about showing off our toes all the time, sometimes there could be exactly 5 days a year that it would even be an option!! But living so much in the States the last 17 years it´s still a wonder how I´ve been able to stay away from the salons for such a long time. Pedicure... foot massage... toenail-party... were all very foreign concepts to me until arriving in the States. I laughed hearing about it the first time, realizing that some girls actually would spend a considerable amount of money - regularly - on getting their toes filed and painted!!! That was beyond my imagination!!! I must have seen some clips from American High school movies portraying this, but still, I think I thought it only existed in movies!!! And not for real ! Well.... yesterday was the day... Christina pushed me into coming.... she herself went for the first time a couple of months ago, ...

Well, I´ve been here almost two and a half months, but haven´t said much about that place I´m in yet. So where am I really?!? I wrote about it two years ago in What´s so special about YWAM Kona but I haven´t put out much about the place this time around. So here are some pictures of the missionary training base I currently live in - right now containing over 1000 people (students and staff) on a big piece of land in a corner of Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. This is what greats you when you enter the center of the base. The flags of all the different nations that are here, beautiful statues and fountains, names of hundreds of YWAM´ers carved on rocks and information and rocks from many of the nations represented. You´ll meet the flags of the nations many places on this campus. This is the open air meeting hall (and during the day a basketball court) where we gather twice a week to celebrate and worship.     Some pictures of the incredible open air Banyan tr...

Ikke en spurv til jorden   Ikke en spurv til jorden uten at Gud er med. Ikke en sjel mot døden uten hans kjærlighet! Ikke en blomst er visnet, ikke en tåre falt uten at Gud vet om det, han som er over alt. Tro det når stormen herjer bladløse vintertrær! Tro det når brenning bryter over de nakne skjær! Tro det når ubeskyttet midt i en kamp du står. Tro det når helt alene du med en smerte går. Tro det når noe brister uten å vokse frem. Tro det når noen mister det som var alt for dem! Tro det når håp går under uten å reise seg: Ikke en spurv til jorden! Det er et ord til deg.   Sørgearmbåndet jeg har båret i et år 13.01.2013 10:08 " Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. ..." Matthew 10.29

Happy new year everybody, and may it be filled with love for all of you! Love ... what is love?! I´ve thought a bit about this over Christmas, a season which is supposed to be filled with love and joy, a season especially for family, to come closer, to celebrate, to spend time and give presents to show how we feel about each other. Living with the family Helland of five, rooming with 9-year old Kaleb has made me experience this in a very close way. `Coz what is love actually ?! Actually Christina and I ended up watching that movie one of the nights of Christmas, the famous, fun-loving Christmas show "Love Actually." The movie portrays a lot of different people in and out of love, from family relationships to friendships. They go through all kinds of different stuff, but through it all we end up with that familiar good-loving feeling inside, seeing the boy getting the girl, the best man being honest about his feelings and befriends his best friend´s wife, the British b...

Well, it is that special time a year, those special days with those closest and dearest to us. All the traditions. All the time together. But he won´t be home for Christmas this time... My sister just blogged about our first Christmas without our Dad -  "Den første julen" . And not just him, also Mom will spend this time apart from us. It is a special time, for all, in special circumstances. I´m sitting at Starbucks, listening to my favorite Christmas CD (Mosaic choir) and looking through pictures of Dad and trying to sob quietly. The tears come almost as soon as I see his dear face, the pictures where he smiles and the ones where he is in pain. Life has continued to go on, we think about him, but life has moved forward... and then suddenly it all comes back, and mountains of tears appear from nowhere. It hits me again, that I have actually lost him, and that I can´t believe how he is just gone. I don´t think it´s possible to prepare for it. Even if I had, it would not ...

  Another week is over. Number six to be exact. I´ve been here about six weeks, and to Christina´s surprise I´m not yet tanner than her! I haven´t been going «suncrazy» or off to the beach all the time at all. It´s surprising also to me. Maybe it was enough with that incredible week in Greece with Ina that gave me the sun I needed for this winter..? Anyways, I´m tan enough and I would rather spend a day outside at a café overlooking the ocean and think about nothing. Write a little. Read some news online. Drink coffee and look at all the people walking by. So – is the universe finally coming into place again after some weeks away? Is there cosmic order again? Am I finding God in this place? Well, I wouldn´t give any easy answers, and nothing definite, but something is for sure happening. It is so slow and goes by so unnoticed, though, that it is hard to pinpoint what exactly is going on. But somehow something seems to be falling into place, something inside and someth...

Yeah, I actually bought this T-shirt in 2005 when living in Hawaii at the time. And I also wore it a few times. I thought it was pretty cool. I thought it said something important about me . And maybe it did. Now I kinda laugh thinking about it. "in´de´pen´dent.... me in a nutshell... `coz I didn´t need nobody!" Not that independence isn´t good, and right at times. Not that I don´t appreciate my own individuality, but because I´m wanting to write about what´s going on in my life - now - this blogpost is about being dependent. Did you know that a child actually has to learn to be dependent before it can learn how to be independent? I didn´t. Not until a wise missionary girl, Leslie Freeman, with a master in child education, devoting her life to children at risk in the poor area of Jaco in Costa Rica, told me so. Yeah, that´s actually a big part of the first years of a child´s life. It´s not so much about learning how to socialize, it´s not so much about the ability to ...

I have contemplated writing this blog post in Norwegian to not offend anyone... I decided not to, so I´m sorry all you American readers ( who are you by the way, and what on Earth is "vampirestat"?! I suddenly have a lot of new readers in the US!!) but I think I have to blog about an incident today. I love America, and Americans, and a week ago I blogged about how much I learn from your school system, and would like to see more of it in my own country. The list of what I love could go on and on. I love Costco (it´s like ten times the size of Coop), I love that everything is big here - everywhere , and cheap too!!! I love how you can send stuff in the mail anywhere in the whole country within a few days for almost nothing, and how you literally can get a hold of almost anything under the sun, and even multiple choices of them! I absolutely love the weather!!! Here and everywhere I´ve been in the States. And I love walking down the street and some stranger walks by, s...