Å leve fra Ånden...

I´m eating this ice cream because there is no more chocolate left in the house..... sounds familiar to anyone?!? I´ve eaten all the chocolate that´s been laying around, then all the ice popcicles I had in the freezer (which was 2 boxes of  `Isabella´ ice pop my sister left last August... probably like 15 of them in each box), and now... I´ve started to dig into the ice cream jar.... I think about my Dad loving ice cream like no other while eating it, and for the first time in my life I understand him.  I´ve never been a `comfort eater´ in my life. Several of my girlfriends are, some admit to being addicted to chocolate. I´ve never understood it. For me escape has more been about escaping into books, I think... or sometimes sleep.... to try to cope with things, try to forget something happened, but food has usually been left alone. I´m known for being able to have candy and chocolate and the likes stacked all over my apartment and them getting too old to eat before I ge...

Syns DU eg kanskje bør stryga denne?! ... Uff ja, den her e visst faktisk så galen at eg må visst det. Eg har faktisk ikkje någe valg. Eg ska jo i bryllup og kan vel ikkje komma som ein skrukkete vaskeklut?!? Off, men så va d denne strygingå då..... Ska eg virkeligt mega meg t det...? Skjalet og kjolen finne eg selvfølgeligt ut at eg ska bruga kvelden før bryllupet. Fredag kveld klokkå 23 tar eg på meg kjolen, snart 12 år siden eg kjøpte an (som antyde kor lenge Christina og Magnar har vært gift...) og någen kilo siden. Vil eg i det heila tatt komma oppi an?!? Joda, eg drar og drar og puste godt inn, det går akkurat... litt bulka onna armane, men ke gjør vel det?! I tillegg ser det ut som om eg fylle an ut litt bedre i øvre del enn for 12 å siå.... det e jo kje feil!! Men skjalet ja, det må eg stryga!! Heldigvis... for tri år siå når Christina flytta fra Verdalen, la hu igjen strygebrettet og strygejernet hos meg. Ja, for EG har jo kje sånt?! Eg har vel kje strøke ei skjorta...

I´m at the library again, having a break after some hours of essay writing.  I´m chewing on a baguet with chicken salad, drinking some lukewarm water from a plastic cup, and having my always-present cup of coffee by my side. It feels nice. My brain is definitely on a break, I´m starting to space out and thinking about when I can go home. Breaks are nice. I haven´t been here at the library studying for quite a while now. It´s been Easter break. After my exam I´ve needed a study break. It´s been a break from blogging and working out, and I´m sensing a need coming up the last days for a break from news, facebook and instagram. Not indefinitely. Just a break. Breaks are great. Even from people you love some times. Even from good things. This pre-Easter our church had a gathering with the topic `fasting´ (as in not eating food). Over 30 people came! Even fasting can be one of those good breaks, letting go of food for a while. I think breaks from almost anything are of the good...

Jeg er en "søler". Jeg innrømmer det. `En person som av uante grunner har en tendens til å søle veldig mye, mange forskjellige plasser og i ulike settinger.´ Det var en god venn av meg som første gang definerte meg som "en søler". Og som fortalte meg at det er flere "typer" sølere, som han da til stadighet (og til manges glede) har dramatisert og forklart. Du har Pål Hovstad-søleren - som søler uten å vite det, litt her og litt der, mens han snakker, mens han spiser, og som bare bare tørker det enkelt vekk mens han fortsetter å snakke..... Og så har du Torstein Bjorland-søleren, som er en slags "Ops!-søler". Han søler plutselig, ops , ut av det blå, mens ingen forventer det, og gjerne fordi ryddinga eller fylling på av kaffe går litt for fort og veldig effektivt!! Og så har du meg da.... den mest patetiske søleren... som vet at jeg søler, og hater det.... og som prøver alt jeg kan å la være, å sette kaffekoppen fint fra meg i tydelig øyesyn s...

(Beautiful sunset. Sorry about the dirty car window...!) Home again. Rainy this time. When I arrived home in Norway in January I was literally blown away , this time in March I was hit by the most incredible downpouring of rain! But it was really good to be home again, unlike last time. ...until I got sick after a week.  Restart. Unplanned break. Boredom. It took me by surprise because it had been a week and I was over jetlag, so I didn´t see it coming - and actually I got quite sick too, not over-in-a-day-kinda-sick!! All together over a week was spent mostly in bed or on the coach and in the start, of course, I was afraid I'd go mental. Being sick is sooooo boring!! You realize there's mostly crap on TV and reading a book makes your headache even worse. Then you get too much time to think and your mind starts spinning!! But a couple of days into being sick and bored, I realized something really cool laying on the couch. That my body and mind actually were ti...

Just a little bit inspired by "Hunger games"! I've watched the two movies that has come out (the first one twice to understand the concept. I´m a little slow) and just finished reading the first book. Now I'm waiting on the library to read the 2nd. It's thrilling and entertaining and the concept is just mindboggling - it could have been the most extreme form of reality show, which was what inspired Suzanne Collins, the author. And a thought strikes you watching it - how can anyone enjoy and watch other people suffer to death on live TV while eating potato chips and voting on their favorite 'player'? It's surreal in a way, but then again not so unimaginable after all. I remember first time I saw reality tv, back in the days, and how I wasn't able to understand how anyone would be openly angry at each other - on TV!! I was used to TV being all about cheerful people and acting. It was beyond me at that point, probably early 90's, how a...

Then I've been through it all again, the hugs and the goodbyes and the sadness of leaving one more time, and we're on our way home. I'm not used to traveling with someone. It's nice to have Ina here and nice that we share so many stories and memories from our month in Hawaii. I guess that's why it's a good thing to travel with someone, not just the company, but that you have someone else that understands what you mean about "the breakfast dress" or the feeling of flying while riding the scooter, someone who remembers the details of our roadtrip to Hilo and how we were so starved and tired and lost looking for a place to eat that we all gave each other really short answers. It's nice that someone knows what goes on in the base in YWAM Kona and have seen it from the inside, from what goes on to the actual places of things. It's been a real good thing traveling with her.  But now it's over and we're headed home. I was sad all day yesterd...

So the famous first year is over, the year most people kind of expect to be difficult or at least different. You´ve gone through his first birthday without him, the first holiday, the first Father´s Day and the first Christmas. You´ve gone through all the seasons, shifting from winter to spring, not seeing him get out shoveling snow or plant something in the backyard. It´s shifted to summer without him BBQing and the first Christmas night came and went without him reading the Christmas gospel. The first year is expected to be hard - everywhere - in other cultures wives would dress in black or wear something black on their arm (sørgebånd) the entire year, but then what? What happens after that? Does it mean that things turn back to normal and stop hurting? Well, talking to my friend that lost his Mom 18 years ago this February, he says: "It never becomes easier! It just doesn´t!" That sounds horrible. Unbearable. If it will stay like this. Or maybe, as others have told m...

Jeg har tenkt en god stund at jeg skulle skrive noe om Manila, Filippinene.... kanskje litt om mine opplevelser av slummen der i 2000, kanskje litt om "Rejoice" barnehjem som det var min mor som først involverte seg i, og en del om familieoutreachen (en misjonsreise for en familie) som Magnar, Christina og barna enda er på (snart tre uker bortreist, kommer hjem mandag!) Det er noe med det Ingar og Bjørg har gjort; å reise fra alt hjemme i Norge når du er midt i 50-åra  og starte et barnehjem blant de fattigste i Manilla, som rører meg sterkt. Men så leser jeg i dag noe Christina skriver om opplevelsene sine der, som er bedre enn mine refleksjoner herfra ville blitt, derfor ville jeg bare gi dere anledning til å lese det også. Manila, 22.februar 2014 Et arbeid som betyr en forskjell Vi er en familie på 5 som i har fått den store gleden av å være i Manila i to uker på besøk hos Bjørg og Ingar for å se og hjelpe litt til med arbeidet dere...

Living the way I have done the last half year - in a Norway ready to go into winter, then suddenly in sunny Hawaii for three months, traveling back to Norway, turning the day, only to stay for 11 days before traveling 11 timezones again, makes me realize how much the little things count. And - how huge little things really are in our lives. Coming to Hawaii the first time, after the "honeymoon" period, I felt an insecurity I hadn´t felt in a long time. Suddenly I was suppose to live in a different country, with a different language, deal with a completely different system, new people... and not having all the security around me of the regular people and routines... I noticed how insecure I´d feel coming into a room full of people, but not knowing anyone, no one coming up and no one to talk to. How I was used to going to these places and having several people I won´t be best friends with, but at least say hi to and chat about nothing for two minutes. I didn´t realize how muc...

I said it before - but I love America!! I think I mentioned a list in another blogpost, there are just so many awesome things about the country and the people, but one of the things I looove the most are the way people behave when they meet. Open. Friendly. Not afraid of talking to strangers. I love going for a run and actually saying hi to lots of people passing me. Or men on scooters at times even nodding at you walking past them. I love how cars so easily let other cars in in front of them in line, and literally stops traffic to wave at little me on a scooter to let me come through - even though it is very little efficient and creating a long line behind them (and the system of STOP in every crossroad is slowing the traffic so much!) I love getting compliments on Starbucks by a complete stranger ("I just love your clothes! You look so cute!") and feeling free to give compliments the same way, experiencing the gass station worker going out of his way to help me fill gass...

Kjære mor! Du er noe utenom det vanlige. Du er sterk  og god og trofast. Du har lært meg så mye om livet. I dag er det trist å ikke være hjemme og gi gaver og feire morsdagen sammen med deg! Jeg ønsker deg alt godt - glede og sang og dans, og ber om at du skal kunne le mot kommende dager! Klem fra Renate  

It looks like this will be my second sequel in Kona. I wonder of how many. I still can not believe that I am back in this place already! Actually for those who thought I'd be going home to stay through another Norwegian winter, so did I. But towards the end of my stay I was beginning to be anxious about leaving, feeling like I wasn't finished with this place. Then not one or two, but three people had been praying for me and said at different times that they felt I was to stay longer or go back shortly after!! This totally astonished me since I was set in my mind to go back home, but as I opened the door to return, things started falling into place very quickly. Ina, my study friend was overwhelmingly excited about coming with me (as I didn't want to travel alone), we could stay at my sister's place since she was going to the Philippines and then another friend, Kari, said we could stay with them afterwards, we found really cheap tickets, it worked out with the exam d...

I don't know what I was thinking leaving Hawaii for Norway in January with a thin jacket and high heeled walking shoes, but now I am having a serious culture shock!! It was beyond freezing coming home. The wind going crazy and the darkness outside all the time. Being without cellphone (lost my sim-card), Internet and car (wouldn't start) for almost three days I lay mostly on the couch gazing outside at the grey or black sky, seeing the trees and bushes bending straight in the wind and wondering how in the world I ended up in this place!! This is the first day I dared to step out of the house, for a quick walk from the M44 Mall to Expert with Astri close by my side. I don't think I'll try that again for a few months... Is it possible to forget so quickly? Have I been so long in the sun that I forgot how cold and grey a Norwegian winter can be?! The other shock is the prices!! So far today the lunch Astri was so kind to buy me + groceries + a few other m...

I´ve been a pedicure virgin for the longest time - actually until yesterday!! Coming from Norway we don´t really care about showing off our toes all the time, sometimes there could be exactly 5 days a year that it would even be an option!! But living so much in the States the last 17 years it´s still a wonder how I´ve been able to stay away from the salons for such a long time. Pedicure... foot massage... toenail-party... were all very foreign concepts to me until arriving in the States. I laughed hearing about it the first time, realizing that some girls actually would spend a considerable amount of money - regularly - on getting their toes filed and painted!!! That was beyond my imagination!!! I must have seen some clips from American High school movies portraying this, but still, I think I thought it only existed in movies!!! And not for real ! Well.... yesterday was the day... Christina pushed me into coming.... she herself went for the first time a couple of months ago, ...

Well, I´ve been here almost two and a half months, but haven´t said much about that place I´m in yet. So where am I really?!? I wrote about it two years ago in What´s so special about YWAM Kona but I haven´t put out much about the place this time around. So here are some pictures of the missionary training base I currently live in - right now containing over 1000 people (students and staff) on a big piece of land in a corner of Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. This is what greats you when you enter the center of the base. The flags of all the different nations that are here, beautiful statues and fountains, names of hundreds of YWAM´ers carved on rocks and information and rocks from many of the nations represented. You´ll meet the flags of the nations many places on this campus. This is the open air meeting hall (and during the day a basketball court) where we gather twice a week to celebrate and worship.     Some pictures of the incredible open air Banyan tr...