When he won´t be home for Christmas...
Well, it is that special time a year, those special days with those closest and dearest to us. All the traditions. All the time together. But he won´t be home for Christmas this time... My sister just blogged about our first Christmas without our Dad - "Den første julen" . And not just him, also Mom will spend this time apart from us. It is a special time, for all, in special circumstances. I´m sitting at Starbucks, listening to my favorite Christmas CD (Mosaic choir) and looking through pictures of Dad and trying to sob quietly. The tears come almost as soon as I see his dear face, the pictures where he smiles and the ones where he is in pain. Life has continued to go on, we think about him, but life has moved forward... and then suddenly it all comes back, and mountains of tears appear from nowhere. It hits me again, that I have actually lost him, and that I can´t believe how he is just gone. I don´t think it´s possible to prepare for it. Even if I had, it would not ...