Thank you everyone!

Today, eight minutes past ten, a month has gone by since my Dad passed away, and I just wanted to thank everyone who has been in my life in this hard season, since we got the cancer message April 4th 2012. 

Thank you so much everyone! Thank you for prayers, which has given us strength and lifted us up to be able to go through all this, and for care, especially around his death bed and the funeral. Thank you for all the flowers, the encouraging cards and messages, for phone calls, visits in my apartment and all the other little things that has been done for me, like practical help and dinners made.

Thank you for all of you who came in my Dad´s funeral and for those who wanted to, but didn´t have the chance. One of the deepest messages to me these months have been that I need people around me, I need help, and I have to live in close relationship with others. I can´t do it on my own!

                                         

Now it´s a new season, a different kind of grief, a "slow sorrow," not intense like it´s been the last months, but more just there, not in my face or on my mind all the time. It´s like someone has removed a carpet I´ve been standing on all my life, and it´s suddenly more windy and naked around me. The best way to describe my feelings are pictures of concrete things, because the feelings are hard to understand and put into words.

It´s easy to just continue on with life and be strong, but I don´t think it´s necessarily the best way to go for me. Therefore I´m pausing today, one month after he died, I go home and regularly look at pictures of him, I let places and things reminding me of him, touch me and affect me, I´m taking some time off facebook and newspapers online that easily becomes a "run-away" and I try to let these months be different and allow myself to feel all these feelings that words can´t describe.

Thanks again everyone for being in my life!