Coming to Hawaii the first time, after the "honeymoon" period, I felt an insecurity I hadn´t felt in a long time. Suddenly I was suppose to live in a different country, with a different language, deal with a completely different system, new people... and not having all the security around me of the regular people and routines... I noticed how insecure I´d feel coming into a room full of people, but not knowing anyone, no one coming up and no one to talk to. How I was used to going to these places and having several people I won´t be best friends with, but at least say hi to and chat about nothing for two minutes. I didn´t realize how much I missed just being known and having those aquaintances around me. Even just walking around in my hometown Bryne and recognize people I´d never talked to I missed!! Knowing that my old pupil worked at Narvesen if I wanted to go by to buy ice cream, recognizing lots of familiar faces when walking into the library and bumping into people I didn´t know well when just getting eggs and milk at the grocery store. I used to try to avoid those situations, and now I missed them.
"I can always tell who is new in town or not by how nice they are!" my sister commented drily, "and you are like one of the new ones!" She was right. I think I was becoming overly nice at times, giving huge smiles to everyone, talking to the mail lady and every person passing by and almost anyone that would give me the time of day, how I was almost desperate for all those small encounters I usually had back home all the time!! At times I felt like an infant, or came to realize that I had to start all over again, from scratch.
All the little things...
Then coming back to Norway I realized all the little things that I had become unaware of in Hawaii! I´d grown used to the warm weather, the beautiful sunsets, the tropical sounds and the people smiling back at me on the street. Suddenly I was aware of all the little things again that was my life in Hawaii. I was shocked by the weather in Norway - even though I´ve spent most my winters there before - I was still shocked, the quietness and the people looking away when walking by. It took me a while before I even started functioning and believing I really could have a life there too - but again, having to start in a way, all over...
It´s all those little things. The people you barely know, but recognize... the lunchbreak at work, same time every day... the grocery shopping on Mondays and the book club the first Friday of the month... the sun shining every day... the kids waking me up at 6 every morning even though I´d like to sleep at least until 7... getting hugs from Lukas every time I come home... not having to think before you crack a joke... (or the awkward silence when you say something that would be funny in Norway, but might not be as hilarious in America...)
Maybe this is why Jesus said to be faithful in the little things, I´ve pondered. Maybe because little things actually are really big, and put together they make our lives. Maybe there really aren´t any big things, just a lot of small ones on top of each other, together becoming great. Or maybe it´s the way I view it - what is little and what is big. And that every little thing could actually be big...?
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