Welcoming something new is always more fun. Starting a new book instead of finishing the old one. Buying new clothes instead of cleaning the closet and getting rid of the old. New things speak of hope and joy. Finishing speaks of.... grief? Sadness? Loss? Bittersweet memories? Because you can never go back to that exact time to make it new again. You'll never have a second chance at making the first impression and those first choices, and you have to accept, or try to accept what happened, the good and the bad, close the door and move on. Something inside us wants to stay and not move on at times, I think.
I wanted to keep the apartment in Hawaii partly because I didn't want to close the door to Hawaii and Youth with a mission and all I loved there. I wanted to live there some day, or live there in my mind, or at least go visiting often. I didn't want to let go of the dream of what could happen in the future. By putting the apartment out on the market I was making a statement to close and move on. That is not easy when Hawaii has been my home for 5 years. Three in the late 90's, and in 2013/14 when doors surprisingly opened to go back and live there again. When I bought the place I thought I might grow old there, hopefully live in three countries for a very long time. Retirement under the palms sounded great to me, of course after many dreams fulfilled while living there. That's why I for so long could not understand and accept that I might have to sell it, only a year and a half after I bought it. It didn't make any sense to me. Was I really finished here? What about all the things I dreamed about that hadn't come through yet? I was filled with sadness and sorrow. Was this really it?
After a slow struggle I gave in and put it on the market 1 year and 9 months after I bought it. The process has been hard, and going through all my stuff there to see what to keep, give away and sell was emotionally so draining I fell asleep afterwards. I had built a home there. I had Christmas stuff I planned to take out in December. I had all kind of little things hidden away for use when I would need it. I had furnished the place so it would be perfect for me and the other girls. So much time, so much money, so much planning. All those hours on Craigslist (jf finn.no), on Target.com and Walmart.com, and having friends with trucks drive me around to look for beds, closets, couch, cups and plates and decoration. So much of my heart.
Luckily I had Christina and Lukas with me. I am so glad. Christina honestly did most of the cleansing out, picked up stuff: "Do you want to keep it? Yes or no?" and decided where to put it and what to do with it. She took control while all I could do was sit there. Also over the showings (visninger), being my personal low-budget interior designer and helping me decorate the place for the new pictures and showings. We vacuumed and cleaned and gave away and sold, and my amazing realtor (eiendomsmegler)/handy man (alt mulig mann!) cleaned out a nice little nest of cockroaches (kakkerlakker) hidden away in the kitchen. Well, enough about that event...In between we had a lot of fun and got to meet up with all our loved ones, cruising around in not only one, but two cars we borrowed for free. I came home a lot whiter than Lukas and Christina who were nearly black. I said it was because I did all the work and they had all the fun, but that's not really true. I'll have to continue to work on my tan in Norway then... but that does not seem to happen this summer...
So here I am... back in Norway, I am missing people back there, and it is hard to know I might not see them again in a long time. When will the doors open up to go back? Will they ever? I don't know. All I can do is to say good bye to Hawaii, close this chapter and move on to next. Who knows why this happened and what is going to happen next?
Traveling to Hawaii was a story of its own. All the 3 planes were delayed and the last one was 4-5 hours after already waiting 4. Lukas did his first 24 hours awake (døgning) while Christina and I were "dying" towards the end.
My great room mate Linn from Sweden and Sam, my good friend - I hope I will see you guys again, in Hawaii, Sweden, London or somewhere else in the world!
Monday morning worship, every week from 8 to 9. A great beginning of the new week to gather together to worship God
Having fun at the pool with Opal and Rosy that I have come to love. I will miss you Kari, and you Cameron and all your beautiful five kids!
A typical Hawaiian breakfast, as good as it gets!
Saying bye and leaving home
On our way to leave, going past pool where we spent so many days with friends and the BBQ area in my apartment complex, knowing I will miss the place a lot
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